I like many others have big dreams, and with these big dreams comes a longing for something better than what I have already been blessed with.

Proverbs 13:12 says, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, But desire fulfilled is the tree of life.” When I first read this verse, I thought, “Wow, that’s exactly how my heart feels at times: sick.” My heart feels sick because I feel like what I am doing is so much further away from where I feel like I should be. And as much as I know that God has a plan and purpose for my life, I get into these states of sadness that I feel like I can’t escape from. The sadness isn’t because I’m without, but it’s because I don’t have all that I want.

In a world where there are people who have next to nothing, I feel ashamed for even feeling this way because I know I’m blessed. However, I know I’m not alone. And if this blog post can help someone to not feel alone, then I have to write it.

I take solace in, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick,” because this part of the Bible verse indicates just how hard it is to wait for something for a long time. Whether you are looking for a job and are constantly getting turned down, doing your best to do good in school just to hear that you could do better or trying to do what you are passionate about for a living but nothing is becoming of it, you are not alone. Solomon wrote these words because he had wisdom from God to know that us humans aren’t good at waiting.

I look at the second part of this verse like a promise that I can hold close to my heart. This promise encourages me and gives me hope. It says, “But desire fulfilled is the tree of life.”

Yet, while I am playing the waiting game, I am learning to be thankful and appreciative of all that I have right now. Because as I look back over my life, much of what I have received from God started out as a prayer. There are so many blessings around me, even as simple and important as the air I breathe.

So, I encourage you, especially as we begin to reflect on what we are thankful for this holiday season, to take the time to remember those things that God has blessed you with. In your waiting season, reflect on all that God has brought you through, and remember that God is by your side.

-Jas